Sunny days and soft rain

Sometimes life throws a curveball. Something hits you unexpectedly and changes the path you’ve been treading. Thats what happened to me in the first week of February 2026. I collapsed and was diagnosed with a Pulmonary Embolism. Overnight I went from being a healthy individual to being completely incapacitated. It was a shock.

Initially horizontal for 20 days or so, incapable of doing anything at all other than take pills, sleep, and eat food when it was put in front of me, was frustrating. My body was broken and my mind wasn’t far behind. I’ve read that when you go through any major trauma, you go through the 7 stages of grief….Your head does weird stuff. Mine did. 

I lay there, questioning everything. Why has this happened? What had I done with my life? How and why, am I still here? What will I do with the precious days I have left on the planet? With no answers to anything, I also questioned if I’d ever make music again. I mustered up the energy to get the last songs I’d almost finished online. I guess I’m happy with the last mixes, they were close to finished. Those three songs are online as ‘The Space between spaces’ EP.

Continuing to find myself horizontal for a number of weeks, I spent a lot of time staring out of the lounge window at the birds coming and going to the large tree over the road, and the clouds drifting bye almost always right to left. I kind of joked to myself that there must be something wrong if the clouds were going in the other direction! One day it was sunny and raining at the same time, and the rain kind of fell in slow motion across the breeze; soft rain I called it. That view will stay with me forever. The mind can overthink in such circumstances when faced with our own mortality. I’m now much more thankful for each day on the planet. 

Sunny days and soft rain, take my mind off the pain, hope one day all this will pass.

At the start of the year, before my health took a nose dive, I had a few half-finished songs and some ideas knocking around, but no real direction. Unable to focus on anything for long, but craving some creative output, I put some new ideas into my MacBook. Some song ideas formed. As I became a little more mobile, I was able to sit at my main workstation for short sessions and start creating again. The songs evolved over the next 3 months, and I replaced sounds with live instruments where appropriate and when energy levels allowed. Out of several songs finished and half finished, three fitted together nicely and document part of my healing journey so far; available online as the ‘Alive’ EP.

Still on the road to recovery and creating most days. More music to come.

Waves

Sat on a sunny summer’s afternoon, watching the tide rolling in on the South Wales coast. Lots of waves breaking as far as I can see, and I’m mesmerised as I watch them roll in. 

It got me to thinking that every wave is like someone’s life. With each one someone is being born and someone passing on. Some break early; some break late and reach the shore. Some waves are huge and have an impact , some just subtly ride along. Each one has its own story to tell.

Alive Ep

Alive EP Title

August 2026

Recording the Alive EP has been a real journey. At the start of the year, I had a few half-finished songs and some ideas knocking around, but no real direction. Then in the first week of February I went through a major health trauma which had me horizontal for weeks, and still unwell 5 months on. These three songs document part of that journey.

Eternity is a song I had started in January, with a synth riff and the vocal melody and some scratch lyrics – the odd word but mostly just vocal noises, which is the way I write. I had cut up a drum loop and made it sound a bit broken and thats as far as I’d got.

Staring out of a window, immobile, thinking about this song, I could hear a crisp breakbeat coming in behind  lush strings for the instrumental section between the verses. When I had some energy to sit for short periods at my music station, I found a loop I could cut up and re-programme to sit nicely behind the strings. Each section was worked on in short sessions over about a month, the vocals recorded with very little breath in my lungs, but capturing a moment. I decided not to try and force a chorus melody, but just let the track be what it is. Nice string swells, a crisp cut-up breakbeat, minimal bass and a kind of shimmering effect floating over everything. As I was preparing to mix, I decided to replace the programmed drums on the middle 8 with a miniature kit id been messing around on – one mic capturing a vintage 16″ bass drum, a 60’s Premier snare drum and pair of old Zildjian hi hats. 

The lyrics are about my wife. Recalling memories of her walking beside me along a canal in the Brecon Beacons, strolling along a beach in St Ives and more recently being beside me when my health was in a critical condition. This song is me expressing my feelings for her. Eternal love that goes beyond anything and everything in this short life we share on this planet. 

Sunny Days and Soft Rain. Continuing to find myself horizontal for a number of weeks, I spent a lot of time staring out of the lounge window at the birds coming and going to a large tree over the road, and the clouds drifting bye almost always right to left. I kind of joked to myself that there must be something wrong if the clouds were going in the other direction!

One day it was sunny and raining at the same time, and the rain kind of fell in slow motion across the breeze; soft rain I called it. That view will stay with me forever, as I slowly recovered from a medical condition that hit me like a lightening bolt from nowhere and changed my present. The mind can overthink in such circumstances when faced with our own mortality. I’m now much more thankful for each day on the planet. 

Unable to focus on anything for long, but craving some creative output, I put some ideas into MPC Beats on my MacBook. A piano loop over a sparse beatbox. With a working title ‘downtime’, I managed to whisper some vocals – the lyrics collated from ramblings on my notes app. 

When I transferred the idea to pro tools, I wanted to keep the original fragility of the song. I added some atmospherics but kept the original beatbox and piano. Towards the end, I wanted the song to lift into a feeling of hope for the future, with lush strings and a steady groove, but I didn’t want anything too overpowering. I went for Mark Bell-esque filtered drums and some live bass to underpin the strings, with some added melodica with stacks or reverb for added atmospherics. 

I take a breath and feel alive.

One Day. I awoke one morning with a syncopated drum beat in my head (following a binge on Thom Yorke’s solo albums) and a rough vocal melody. I set up a basic drum kit  – kick, snare and a tom, with no cymbals and just two mics. I already had a half finished sketch of a song that began with sequenced bleeps but much faster and in a different key. I cut the two together and had something. The rest of the song developed from there – I could hear it transitioning into a middle eight section with vocals floating in space followed by something more up-tempo at the end. A circus of sounds floating around, underpinned by a cool baseline and offbeat drums. The end drums just happened and I tidied them up in a couple of takes, with some added tambourine. There’s quite a few guitar tracks floating in and out on the end section and the strings give it a nice lift. I don’t know if I managed to fully express what I could hear in my head but it’s close. 

The lyrics are about going through a period of re-adjustment and change. Leaving things and people that you love behind, not because you want to but because you have to. Sometimes you have to cut from the past in order to move into the future. 

I hope you enjoy it. 

Release Date

August 2026

gear used

MacBook Air M4 running MPC Beats.

Mac mini  M4 running Pro Tools.

Live electric guitars, bass guitar, melodica, vocals.

Live drums, programmed drums.

Various synths. 

Stream from 14 August 2026

SHELL

I am broken.

A shell of my former self.

I sit here waiting for this to pass.

I feel like screaming and crying,

At nothing, about nothing.

Nothing makes sense.

Take small steps and look at the view.

It’s not raining today, that’s something new.

Take a deep breath, the pain means I’m alive.

(3 March 2026)

I wasn’t made for these times

I guess I just wasn’t made for these times…a classic Beach Boys song, written and recorded by the late, great Brian Wilson in the late 1960s. Brian Wilson heard whole songs, symphonies, in his head and spent most of his time during the 1960s, holed up in a studio trying to commit what he heard to tape (before the digital age, music was recorded to physical tape). I’ve read that he even heard the four-part harmonies that the Beach Boys were famous for and often recorded all the parts himself. People thought he was crazy spending all his days and nights in the studio, to the point that he sent the rest of the band out on tour so he could stay home writing more songs and perfecting his studio craft. He was diagnosed as schizophrenic, later in life, but maybe he wasn’t made for his time… his melodies and songwriting were way ahead of his time.

I recently watched ‘the film At Eternitys Gate’ about the life of Vincent Van Gogh. He felt like he had to paint. Constantly. It was the only thing that made sense to him. He believed It was God’s gift to him. He spent his life in abject poverty, unable to pay rent, unable to feed himself. He wore the same clothes, made his own brushes and scrounged paper and canvases. He loved nature, and would go out every morning and walk for miles until some sight or view grabbed his attention enough that he had to stop and paint it. He had no interest in the other things in life that most people craved. He was out of his own time. Theres a quote where he says something along the lines that people in his time didn’t understand him or like his paintings, but maybe he was painting for people in the future. He believed he was giving people a glimpse of something bigger and better than their own world in his paintings. Eternity?

I read about a 14th Century Monk, Thomas A Kempis. He stated that God offers us his love and an eternity with Him, yet most people can’t be bothered to accept that gift or pursue God. Most are more interested in the fickle, material things of this world. We work hard in jobs we hate to spend our wages on material pleasures that are gone in an instant, when we have an eternal reward on offer to us freely if we would pursue the things of God.

I quite often feel like Brian Wilson and Van Gough (not that I’m claiming to be a genius). I’ve often felt like I don’t fit in. I’m not like most people. I sometimes feel displaced. When I was younger, I had no interest in getting a job or having a career, I just wanted to make music. I wanted to play drums in bands. I wanted to hang out with creative people. Some used to say to me “what are you going to do for money?” or “you can’t live like that; you need to have a ‘proper job’.” I never understood. Creating music wasn’t a job for me; it was something I loved doing and needed to do, to express myself. Years later, I got sucked into the music industry machine that makes you believe that music/art is about having a career and earning money, making money for other people, being successful, being famous! These days, maybe the pendulum has swung a bit allowing young people to make music without signing their copyright away, or having to pay for expensive studio time, in order to release their own music.

Personally, this is what I have started doing recently, and I feel happy. Creating music and floating it out on the internet for people to discover. I feel like my old self. But I still feel like there’s so much in me and I can’t get it out. I don’t feel the isolation and loneliness that Van Gough did, and I’m aware that there is an Eternity after death that Thomas A Kempis talked about. 

But I still feel like I just wasn’t made for these times, on occasion!

The Space Between Spaces EP

The Space Between Spaces

March 2026

The Space Between Spaces EP was written and recorded between October 2025 and February 2026. 

During the recording process I transitioned from my MacBook running Cubase to running Pro Tools. It wasn’t that steep a learning curve – Pro Tools proved to be much more intuitive and with its wealth of plug ins, I was able to sculpt the sounds to get closer to what I heard in my head. I also upgraded my microphones, using my Warm Audio WA14 on almost everything. 

I Need You started with the main synth line and a cut up drum loop. I had no real direction, it just sort of happened. The vocal melody and lyrics came quite quickly. I wanted the chorus to open up and contrast with the tight sound of the verses – I recorded drums in my kitchen with three mics and the snare tuned high. A nice guitar line weaving in and out and lots of sounds layered. 

Everyone feels alone sometimes. The song is about having someone who is always there for you even when the chips are down.

Trust In You started on my previous set up and I recorded it again from scratch. I was going for a minimal approach on this song – it started with the melodic loop that runs throughout the song, underpinned by a drum loop that I ran through a filter and distortion. I love the piano interlude that comes in and out on this track.

I wanted a dead, dry kit sound for the chorus – towels on the hi hats and snare; paired with a clean bass line, some synth and of course some strings!

The lyrics are about going through a tough season in life and feeling completely lost. I have had a recurring feeling throughout my life that I don’t fit in; and when that feeling kicks in I feel disconnected from everything around me. This song is about keeping the faith that you’ll make it out the other side. 

Clean Hands started life a lot faster built around the bassline and a Primal Scream-esque drum loop but it wasn’t going anywhere. Eventually I took a different approach, keeping the bassline as the main groove but slowing the tempo and making the track a lot moodier.  

This track features live and programmed drums, layered guitars and mangled sounds and synths. Lots of reverb, delayed melodica and a heavy guitar line.. I wanted it to sound big – but leaving space for the breathy vocals to float over the top.

The lyrics are about trying to live life right. Not by striving or trying to be righteous, but just by doing the right thing and not compromising on what you stand for.

The remix was done by my good friend Nathan Benn from London, UK.

Release Date

March 2026

GEAR USED

MacBook M4 running Pro Tools.

Live electric guitars, bass guitar, melodica, vocals.

Live drums, programmed drums.

Various synths. 

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In The Beginning EP

In The Beginning

October 2025

In The Beginning features the first music I have recorded and released in over 15 years. Back in the early 2000’s I had my own little studio on a farm in East Sussex; I’d hide away in there writing and recording songs and posting them out on the internet for free. This was before all the streaming platforms changed the way we listen to music. I decided to start making music again just as an outlet, and expression, and put the songs out there for people to hear. No expectations, no agenda, just my music.

The Ep was mostly written and recorded on a MacBook Air running cubase, with programmed beats and loops alongside live drums recording with a couple of mics, live bass and an acoustic guitar. And vocals.

Trying to communicate the sounds in my head was both fun and challenging with being so rusty – although music production on a laptop has come a long way in 20 years.

In the Beginning started with a melodica melody and acoustic guitar recorded into an iPhone during the Covid 19 pandemic, and kind of developed organically into what you hear. Some strings added, the middle eight features spoken word from John chapter 1 in the Bible. Live bass and drums underpin the end section with moody atmospherics. 

Immersion is the expression of a feeling – like a rebirth. When I came across this vocal sample , it gave me that rush of emotion; I can’t put it into words, but it gave me goosebumps down my back and I wanted to listen to it over and over. I built this short piece of music around it, trying to keep it short and simple. 

Glorify Your Name is a song that I wrote some time in the Summer of 2025, probably singing in the shower. My friend Andy recorded some lush guitars which float behind most of the song. I started experimenting a bit more with creating sounds on this song with some cool filters and delays. I wanted the end section to build build around the sequenced synth into an epic soundscape of swirling sounds and a cool groove…some live drums smashed out in the kitchen and  a screaming guitar duelling with a synth. I’m not sure if I quite achieved what was in my head, but it’s close! 

Release Date

October 2025

gear used

MacBook Air M4 running Cubase.

Live electric guitars, acoustic guitar, bass guitar, melodica, vocals.

Live drums, programmed drums.

Various synths. 

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